Leaving a part of my heart behind

At 37 weeks preggers, I have officially begun my maternity leave. This is my third block of maternity leave, but possibly the most emotional one, as I am not only starting my maternity, I am also ending my 10-year term as a staff of City Harvest Church to relocate to Sydney, Australia as the hubby embarks on his PhD program.

_MG_0257 Apr 2010

Gosh, how young (and slim) we looked back then! Haha… (And check out my hot pink hair streak… Haha!)

So many memories. And so many emotions as I leave this organization – more like my extended family, really. We have laughed, toiled, and pulled many an over-nighter together as we have put together large-scale events and international conferences both in Singapore and overseas.

So it is such a bittersweet moment for me.

I’ve had so many people ask me…

“So are you excited about moving to Sydney?”

“You must be looking forward to Baby Zoie, ya?”

“Wow, no work! Gonna enjoy being a lady of leisure, eh?”

To which my replies are to all are a more subdued, “Eh, it’s alright, I guess.”

No, I am not very excited about Sydney, though the hubby has done a lot in getting the house ready for the family. Truth be told, I am not entirely sure I am even prepared for the big move! No, I am not very excited about Zoie (yet), though I enjoy buying clothes for her, and of course, my last huge purchase – a second-hand Bugaboo Donkey which I adore and look forward to using. No, I am not really being a “lady of leisure.” In fact my last day of work was spent busily putting my stuff together, and I even had a mini stack of documents to bring home to do, and didn’t manage to even pack up my work desk! (I had to come in another day just to clear my desk.)

But I am more than happy. To keep on doing whatever needs to be done. For as long as I can.

That’s what family does, is it not?

More than just a company I earn a salary from every month, this has also been my church for the past 15 years, my family and a place where I have seen lives touched (not only for me and the hubby, but quite literally thousands of others as well) and changed. For at such a time, when the church and its leaders are going through such a tough time, I am feeling a rush of emotions of leaving at this time. My pastors and leaders are so genuinely happy and excited for us, it does make things easier (and yet, also harder at the same time, if you can follow my jumbled chain of thoughts).

However, my faith remains in God, and in the integrity of the people who are now faced with literally the biggest (and definitely most public) trial of their lives. But more than just faceless names, for me when I see their names splashed in the papers, I see men and women full of faith, who continue serving God and giving their best effort, even when they are not getting any kind of monetary compensation in return, who still show up in church week after week with their heads held high. Their children well-adjusted, marriages strong in the midst of the storm going on.

God is in the calm, and in the midst of the storm.

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11 Responses to “Leaving a part of my heart behind”

  1. MummyMOO

    San, we will also miss you! But it’s a brand new journey… and for every ending, there is always a beginning.

    It must be hard to leave your work family. I can totally relate because I’ve worked in a company for a long time too, and my colleagues aren’t that anymore. They have become more like family, especially since we see one another more often than actual family members, and they’ve witnessed our life’s milestones.

    Good luck there. And I’m already looking forward to welcoming you home :)
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    • Sandra

      Heh heh, thanks Reg! ;) I will definitely miss the hot mamas of SMB… thankfully I will still be as online as ever (or maybe even more so!) Hahaha…

  2. Agy

    Oooooh, a new stage in life. It will be difficult at first but you will make new friends and warm-up to the new place. Having been at my last job for 10 years as well, my colleagues were very close and we still keep in touch and support each other. Hugs!
    Agy recently posted…Milk Carton Coin PouchMy Profile

    • Sandra

      The leaving is tough, but it helps that I have such uber supportive friends, family and colleagues. Just feeling a tad emotional about the timing, and having the church and my friends & leaders going through such a tough period ahead. Thanks for your kind words though! ;)

  3. Ally

    Sad to hear you are leaving SG- is the relocation temporary? Will miss you and well, adjusting a new environment takes time but well, we have social media to keep in contact, yay?!
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    • Sandra

      Yes – we plan to be in Sydney for the next 18-24 months. And yes – my “saving grace” and source of sanity is that fact that the world’s made so much smaller with Social Media. Plus I will be updating the blog as often (or maybe even more so) than ever!

  4. Karen

    San, shared the same exact thought as you before relocating. The start was tough, and I even wanted to fly home! Now, I’m so enjoying our stay here. Weather definitely cools me down most time. Have great fun and bonding with the kids and Nic.
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  5. Lifen

    Hey San, one thing for sure… I will be reading your blog like never before :) we must stay in touch ya?

    But more than that, you and Nic have been such a blessing to the church family! Will miss you verily verily!

    Hugs! I know God will watch over you & your family, esp the little princess!

    • Sandra

      Hahaha! Thanks Fen! It is good to know, and I will surely be blogging as regularly, if not more so, than before! :P


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