I do not have a decent photo of the three kids. In a single frame. There is Jay + Xav, Jay + Zoie, Xav + Zoie… but horror upon horrors – the only decent one I have of the three kids in a single shot was taken a year ago, at a flash photoshoot session we did at a shopping mall. One year ago. Oh… the travesty, especially for a blogging mummy! *oops*
Parenting three kids definitely has its challenging moments, but after a while you come to an epiphany – that joy can be tripled, worry can be tripled, expenses can be tripled… but fatigue is a given and you cannot be “more fatigued” than fatigued. So I guess that is how parents of multiples cope – cos if you are flat out, you are flat out, and that’s the very bottom of the barrel with nowhere to go but up.
Having said that, I am thankful that we made the decision to have these three gorgeous kids. Jay is an awesome older brother, and his adoration for Zoie brings a smile to my face and his tolerance for Xav (and his incessant whining) is pretty admirable too. He loves to sprawl across our living room floor to scribble and draw – and lately we’re seen Zoie in the exact same pose too! Xav is my little K-pop sweetie, with his good looks, big eyes and infectious smile and … Okay, I may be having a Proud Mama moment there! Zoie, my long-awaited princess, is feisty and holds her own against her two brothers (who let her pull their hair and scratch them with nary a grumble).
So there were three. And there will be no more. Cos the hubs and I are in agreement – that 3 is the magic number. (Or 5, according to him, but THAT will never happen.) And here’s 3 reasons why 3 kids is the magic number!
1) There will never be a stalemate. So in any argument, the three of them will HAVE to work out something. And given that there are three, and knowing my two boys are as smart as can be, there won’t be a case of two “always” ganging up on the one. So they will learn diplomacy and problem solving from a young age. Now, with Jay and Xav, we get them to work out their differences, and they understand that when there is a “winner” and a “loser” but the loser starts whining and crying, in the end, everybody “loses” and all plans to go out will be halted or all sweet treats withdrawn. So when Jay manages to get his way over Xav, he has learnt (the very hard way) to not gloat or goad the younger brother, or an outburst will also cost him some fun time. Now is this fair? You might not think so, but it depends on your definition of “fair.” For us, we place more emphasis on family harmony and having fun together (“together” being the operative word) over individual glee. Xav has also been taught this a couple of times, and so with three kids now, the dynamics of this will surely change, and it will be interesting to see how the kids navigate this!
2) Sharing and Mathematics. Three is not an easy number when it comes to sharing or dividing up a pie. Just a few mornings ago, Xav brought a pack of Mum Mum biscuits, and asked me to open it (cos he loves it and wants to eat it), but wisely told me that he would “share” one with Zoie – there were two pieces per pack. I agreed and proceeded to open the pack, but Jay protested from the couch that Xav had already eaten two pieces (same as Jay), and it wasn’t fair that only Xav had the next piece. I broke off one-third of a piece and passed it to Zoie, and gave the remainder to the two of them. There was a bit of joustling at first for the “whole” piece, but I told the boys “to share” – and how did they resolve this? Almost immediately, Jay decided to break off another one-third of the other whole piece, passed that to Zoie, and both Xav and him got the remainder. No whining, no grumbling, and just three happy kids. Now, it doesn’t ALWAYS work out this way, but the few times it does is good enough. But how do we know the boys really, really adore their lil sister? It’s when they willingly offer her a lick (or four or five) of their ice-cream or lollipop when they do get to eat it!
3) And perhaps the most important reason: Because 2 is too late and 4 is too much. And by too late, I mean, there is already a third kid – you can’t be still longing for the time when there were *only* two. But you can choose to not have more. Haha!
This is my “feel-good” post about having three kids – but I also believe no matter the number of kids you might have (or will be having), it is more important to enjoy their growing up years to the fullest!
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